The following posts have no fixed theme or style, but I hope you enjoy reading them!

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Learn to love your nose

Your nose is cool. Not unreservedly, but it is pretty cool. I know nothing about the physiology of noses, so I can't comment on that. I also don't know if your one is a little fatter than you would like, or maybe too big, or maybe a bit crooked.

These things are beside the point, things which people say and others repeat in order to give noses a bad name. Think of all the things you can do with your nose. You can blow it, wrinkle it and even flare your nostrils. I learned yesterday what that means (I had only read it in books before), and you can do it if you are angry, but you can also do it for fun, just to make your nostrils look that little bit bigger!

And your nose does so much in return. It allows you to smell and taste, for one thing. A life without smelling or tasting would not only be boring, it would stop you from realising when someone has put something weird in your sandwich, or your milk is just starting to go bad. But this is not the main gift which your nose so unselfishly gives you: it allows you to
Now that's pretty cool. You can even breathe and keep your mouth closed, so you don't have to open your mouth when you are eating - because that's rude. Your nose is a very selfless protuberance. So often, you get ill, and your nose takes all the flak. You don't feel bad, you just have a blocked nose. Let me explain: If I was to tell you that I cared about you so much that I would fill myself to the brim with snot to prevent you getting ill, you would think (a) that I was weird, no, very very weird; AND, more importantly (b) that it would be a pretty amazing sacrifice for you.

So yes, noses are weird, but they are also amazing.

Get to know your nose.

Give it a squeeze, first in the direction that closes the nostrils, then in the other direction, so your fingers are above and below the tip of your nose. Give it a stroke, along its length, feeling how it blends into your face. Wash it, exfoliate it, powder it too, they like that.

Then you will really LOVE your nose


Anonymous said...

Here are some replies to people who tell you your nose is too big:
"Yeah, I know, but I've never let it get in my way."
"Yes, it's good for knowing when someone like you really stinks."
"My nose is not big - my face is just small."
"My nose may be big - but not as big as your mouth."
"I'd rather have a big nose than a tiny brain like yours."
"My big nose is good for sniffing out idiots - and I'm smelling one right now."

Anonymous said...

I'd rather have my slightly crooked, hooked Roman nose than an assembly line nose from the surgeon's office--any day.

Hopefully Hollywood can start to glorify unique, natural noses more often. I'm thinking of John Krasinski and Sarah Jessica Parker.

(Also thinking of people like Ashlee Simpson, who I'm not a fan of, but her old nose was so much cuter than her new, boring nose--the same nose that so many people have!)